I (and Colin, since he’s my flatmate) live near a 24 hour Tesco that is often the source of some quality humour.
Previous comedy highlights include a couple fighting over a massive cuddly bear (nb, you can not storm off from an argument with any dignity if you have a huge hairy bear under your arm), the weekly OAP royal rumble at the discount section and this little gem.
On Friday evening, I was perusing the booze aisle looking for some of that below cost alcohol the Daily Mail keeps telling everyone is killing Britain, when I passed a lady with a bottle of Taboo in her hand.
As I carried on walking to the beer section I heard her ask, with the innocence of a tee totaller “Can you use a mixer with Taboo?” Nothing funny there you’d think, as did I, until I saw who she had asked.
Her companion for her shopping trip, and the person she expected a response to the question from, was her 6 year old son (rough guess, either that or it was a clean shaven midget).
Now I know we live in a fairly rough part of town, but you’d hope out of all the people to ask about what alcohol goes with which mixer, a 6 year old would not be high on the list.
You’d be right, as this was his reply.
“I don’t know much about Taboo mum, or alcohol really. I’m a child.”
Then, as if to prove his point, he continued to play with a toy car while sitting in the child seat of her trolley.
I learnt three two things that day, one – the dream of cheap below cost booze in Tesco is a big lie (£17 for a bottle vodka? It’s made from potatoes not unicorn piss) and two – children would make rubbish bar tenders.